I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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