they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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