Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
