I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
