how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
