big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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