Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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