Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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