So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
