Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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