Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
