But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
