I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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