I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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