puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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