I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm passing your future prison.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
