i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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