So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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