Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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