yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
