At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
