check it out our google latitudes are spooning
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sorry my hands just texted you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
