So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
