Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
