I feel like I'm in dance class right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
