Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
