If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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