In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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