Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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