hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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