So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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