His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
