Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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