After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
