I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
