You just made me feel so damn special
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
