A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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