There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
