After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize