remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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