do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
