I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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