scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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