Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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