Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
