I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
