I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
