grandma shit on top of the toilet
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
