I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
