I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
